Help your Child Handle the Bully
Warning signs of bullying:
If your child is being bullied, he or she may remain quiet out of fear, shame or embarrassment. Warning signs:
• Damaged or missing clothing or other personal belongings
• Unexplained bruises or other injuries
• Few friends or close contacts
• Reluctance to go to school or ride the school bus
• Poor school performance
• Headaches, stomachaches or other physical complaints
• Trouble sleeping or eating
What to do if you suspect your child is being bullied
• Encourage your child to share their concerns. Stay calm, listen in a loving manner and support your child's feelings. Express understanding and concern. "Remind your child that he or she isn't to blame for being bullied.
• Learn as much as you can about the situation. Ask your child to describe how and when the bullying occurs and who is involved. Ask if other children or adults have witnessed any bullying incidents. Find out what your child may have done to try to stop the bullying.
• Teach your child how to respond to the bullying. Don't promote retaliation or fighting back against a bully. Instead, encourage your child to maintain his or her composure. He or she might say, "I want you to stop now," and then simply walk away. Suggest a buddy system while on the bus, in the cafeteria or wherever the bullying happens. Remind your child that he or she can ask teachers or other school officials for help.
• Contact school officials. Talk to your child's teacher, the school counselor and the school principal. If your child has been physically attacked or otherwise threatened with harm, talk to school officials immediately to determine if the police should be involved. Don't contact the bully's parents yourself. You might also want to encourage school officials to address bullying — including cyberbullying — as part of the curriculum.
• Follow up. Keep in contact with school officials. If the bullying seems to continue, be persistent.
• Boost your child's self-confidence. Help your child get involved in activities that can raise self-esteem, such as sports, music or art. Encourage your child to build friendships and develop social skills.
• Know when to seek professional help. Consider professional or school counseling for your child if his or her fear or anxiety becomes overwhelming.
For more information please visit the Mayo Clinic website and the WebMD site. The links to these sites are listed below for your convenience.
Reference:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bullying/MH00126/NSECTIONGROUP=2
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/tc/bullying-what-children-should-do-if-they-are-bullied
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Quote of the Day
“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family".
Virginia Satir
Virginia Satir
Friday, June 24, 2011
"Bullying" Is your child at risk? Part 2 of 3
Factors Contributing to Bullying and Aggression
Family factors contributing to bullying and aggression:
• Substance or alcohol abuse by someone in the family
• Certain kinds of parenting behaviors toward the child
• Family violence
• Lack of warmth and involvement on the part of the parents
• Overly permissive parenting
• Lack of setting clear limits for child
• Lack of or inadequate parental supervision
• Harsh, corporal punishment
• Child maltreatment, such as sexual or physical abuse
Children who experience violence either as victims or as witnesses "are at increased risk of becoming violent themselves," according to the U.S. Department of Justice's Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP)
Children need not experience the abuse themselves to be harmed. OJJDP notes that children who have viewed or heard violent acts often have the same lasting effects as those children who are direct victims.
Research continues to show that, among some children, parental permissiveness toward aggression and harsh, punitive parenting both may lead to aggression and therefore bullying. More specifically, some parents may encourage their kids to be tough and aggressive. Many boys from these types of families end up being not only aggressive, but angry, argumentative, and disruptive.
Children need not experience the abuse themselves to be harmed.
These aggressive boys learn that their self-esteem or self-image should be based on their strength, power, and physical superiority over others. They do not learn that a positive image includes competence, good performance in school, and good relations with family and peers. Parents who use coercive parenting instill fear very early in their children. They often do this by using techniques that create an inequality of power such as physical punishment, yelling, and name-calling.
Disciplinary practices vary widely from family to family. Whatever the style, if the parent is not consistent, the child suffers. For example, if a parent overlooks misbehavior one day yet severely punishes the child the next day for the same behavior, the child does not learn right from wrong. Mixed messages from the parents where one says one thing and the other says something different also can confuse a child. Familial behaviors have the potential to strengthen or weaken a school-aged child's ability to relate to peers and behave appropriately.
*Take a look at your family. Is consistent discipline practiced in your home? Who sets the rules in your home? Do your children have a clear understanding of the rules? Do all of the caretakers (i.e. spouses, grandparents) know the rules?
Compared with past generations, new mothers today often do not have the social supports of family and community that help provide positive models of child rearing and discipline. They often feel overwhelmed, isolated, and unprepared. When a mother is unable to care for her child early in the child's life, that child does not bond securely with the mother. This often leads to deficiencies that may show up in the child as a lack of empathy, trust, and reciprocity of feelings. Parents also may have problems such as alcoholism or drug abuse and mental illness.
Socioeconomic factors can serve as risk factors for children and youth. Many families need to work more than one job to make ends meet. Often, kids are left for long periods of time after school with little or no adult supervision. The impact can range from a parent being unable to provide homework help to a lack of recreational and cultural opportunities in a violent neighborhood. Limited social and economic resources also contribute to parental stress, child abuse, and family breakups.
Reference:
Family factors contributing to bullying and aggression:
• Substance or alcohol abuse by someone in the family
• Certain kinds of parenting behaviors toward the child
• Family violence
• Lack of warmth and involvement on the part of the parents
• Overly permissive parenting
• Lack of setting clear limits for child
• Lack of or inadequate parental supervision
• Harsh, corporal punishment
• Child maltreatment, such as sexual or physical abuse
Children who experience violence either as victims or as witnesses "are at increased risk of becoming violent themselves," according to the U.S. Department of Justice's Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP)
Children need not experience the abuse themselves to be harmed. OJJDP notes that children who have viewed or heard violent acts often have the same lasting effects as those children who are direct victims.
Research continues to show that, among some children, parental permissiveness toward aggression and harsh, punitive parenting both may lead to aggression and therefore bullying. More specifically, some parents may encourage their kids to be tough and aggressive. Many boys from these types of families end up being not only aggressive, but angry, argumentative, and disruptive.
Children need not experience the abuse themselves to be harmed.
These aggressive boys learn that their self-esteem or self-image should be based on their strength, power, and physical superiority over others. They do not learn that a positive image includes competence, good performance in school, and good relations with family and peers. Parents who use coercive parenting instill fear very early in their children. They often do this by using techniques that create an inequality of power such as physical punishment, yelling, and name-calling.
Disciplinary practices vary widely from family to family. Whatever the style, if the parent is not consistent, the child suffers. For example, if a parent overlooks misbehavior one day yet severely punishes the child the next day for the same behavior, the child does not learn right from wrong. Mixed messages from the parents where one says one thing and the other says something different also can confuse a child. Familial behaviors have the potential to strengthen or weaken a school-aged child's ability to relate to peers and behave appropriately.
*Take a look at your family. Is consistent discipline practiced in your home? Who sets the rules in your home? Do your children have a clear understanding of the rules? Do all of the caretakers (i.e. spouses, grandparents) know the rules?
Compared with past generations, new mothers today often do not have the social supports of family and community that help provide positive models of child rearing and discipline. They often feel overwhelmed, isolated, and unprepared. When a mother is unable to care for her child early in the child's life, that child does not bond securely with the mother. This often leads to deficiencies that may show up in the child as a lack of empathy, trust, and reciprocity of feelings. Parents also may have problems such as alcoholism or drug abuse and mental illness.
Socioeconomic factors can serve as risk factors for children and youth. Many families need to work more than one job to make ends meet. Often, kids are left for long periods of time after school with little or no adult supervision. The impact can range from a parent being unable to provide homework help to a lack of recreational and cultural opportunities in a violent neighborhood. Limited social and economic resources also contribute to parental stress, child abuse, and family breakups.
Reference:
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