Help your Child Handle the Bully
Warning signs of bullying:
If your child is being bullied, he or she may remain quiet out of fear, shame or embarrassment. Warning signs:
• Damaged or missing clothing or other personal belongings
• Unexplained bruises or other injuries
• Few friends or close contacts
• Reluctance to go to school or ride the school bus
• Poor school performance
• Headaches, stomachaches or other physical complaints
• Trouble sleeping or eating
What to do if you suspect your child is being bullied
• Encourage your child to share their concerns. Stay calm, listen in a loving manner and support your child's feelings. Express understanding and concern. "Remind your child that he or she isn't to blame for being bullied.
• Learn as much as you can about the situation. Ask your child to describe how and when the bullying occurs and who is involved. Ask if other children or adults have witnessed any bullying incidents. Find out what your child may have done to try to stop the bullying.
• Teach your child how to respond to the bullying. Don't promote retaliation or fighting back against a bully. Instead, encourage your child to maintain his or her composure. He or she might say, "I want you to stop now," and then simply walk away. Suggest a buddy system while on the bus, in the cafeteria or wherever the bullying happens. Remind your child that he or she can ask teachers or other school officials for help.
• Contact school officials. Talk to your child's teacher, the school counselor and the school principal. If your child has been physically attacked or otherwise threatened with harm, talk to school officials immediately to determine if the police should be involved. Don't contact the bully's parents yourself. You might also want to encourage school officials to address bullying — including cyberbullying — as part of the curriculum.
• Follow up. Keep in contact with school officials. If the bullying seems to continue, be persistent.
• Boost your child's self-confidence. Help your child get involved in activities that can raise self-esteem, such as sports, music or art. Encourage your child to build friendships and develop social skills.
• Know when to seek professional help. Consider professional or school counseling for your child if his or her fear or anxiety becomes overwhelming.
For more information please visit the Mayo Clinic website and the WebMD site. The links to these sites are listed below for your convenience.
Reference:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bullying/MH00126/NSECTIONGROUP=2
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/tc/bullying-what-children-should-do-if-they-are-bullied
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Quote of the Day
“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family".
Virginia Satir
Virginia Satir
Friday, June 24, 2011
"Bullying" Is your child at risk? Part 2 of 3
Factors Contributing to Bullying and Aggression
Family factors contributing to bullying and aggression:
• Substance or alcohol abuse by someone in the family
• Certain kinds of parenting behaviors toward the child
• Family violence
• Lack of warmth and involvement on the part of the parents
• Overly permissive parenting
• Lack of setting clear limits for child
• Lack of or inadequate parental supervision
• Harsh, corporal punishment
• Child maltreatment, such as sexual or physical abuse
Children who experience violence either as victims or as witnesses "are at increased risk of becoming violent themselves," according to the U.S. Department of Justice's Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP)
Children need not experience the abuse themselves to be harmed. OJJDP notes that children who have viewed or heard violent acts often have the same lasting effects as those children who are direct victims.
Research continues to show that, among some children, parental permissiveness toward aggression and harsh, punitive parenting both may lead to aggression and therefore bullying. More specifically, some parents may encourage their kids to be tough and aggressive. Many boys from these types of families end up being not only aggressive, but angry, argumentative, and disruptive.
Children need not experience the abuse themselves to be harmed.
These aggressive boys learn that their self-esteem or self-image should be based on their strength, power, and physical superiority over others. They do not learn that a positive image includes competence, good performance in school, and good relations with family and peers. Parents who use coercive parenting instill fear very early in their children. They often do this by using techniques that create an inequality of power such as physical punishment, yelling, and name-calling.
Disciplinary practices vary widely from family to family. Whatever the style, if the parent is not consistent, the child suffers. For example, if a parent overlooks misbehavior one day yet severely punishes the child the next day for the same behavior, the child does not learn right from wrong. Mixed messages from the parents where one says one thing and the other says something different also can confuse a child. Familial behaviors have the potential to strengthen or weaken a school-aged child's ability to relate to peers and behave appropriately.
*Take a look at your family. Is consistent discipline practiced in your home? Who sets the rules in your home? Do your children have a clear understanding of the rules? Do all of the caretakers (i.e. spouses, grandparents) know the rules?
Compared with past generations, new mothers today often do not have the social supports of family and community that help provide positive models of child rearing and discipline. They often feel overwhelmed, isolated, and unprepared. When a mother is unable to care for her child early in the child's life, that child does not bond securely with the mother. This often leads to deficiencies that may show up in the child as a lack of empathy, trust, and reciprocity of feelings. Parents also may have problems such as alcoholism or drug abuse and mental illness.
Socioeconomic factors can serve as risk factors for children and youth. Many families need to work more than one job to make ends meet. Often, kids are left for long periods of time after school with little or no adult supervision. The impact can range from a parent being unable to provide homework help to a lack of recreational and cultural opportunities in a violent neighborhood. Limited social and economic resources also contribute to parental stress, child abuse, and family breakups.
Reference:
Family factors contributing to bullying and aggression:
• Substance or alcohol abuse by someone in the family
• Certain kinds of parenting behaviors toward the child
• Family violence
• Lack of warmth and involvement on the part of the parents
• Overly permissive parenting
• Lack of setting clear limits for child
• Lack of or inadequate parental supervision
• Harsh, corporal punishment
• Child maltreatment, such as sexual or physical abuse
Children who experience violence either as victims or as witnesses "are at increased risk of becoming violent themselves," according to the U.S. Department of Justice's Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP)
Children need not experience the abuse themselves to be harmed. OJJDP notes that children who have viewed or heard violent acts often have the same lasting effects as those children who are direct victims.
Research continues to show that, among some children, parental permissiveness toward aggression and harsh, punitive parenting both may lead to aggression and therefore bullying. More specifically, some parents may encourage their kids to be tough and aggressive. Many boys from these types of families end up being not only aggressive, but angry, argumentative, and disruptive.
Children need not experience the abuse themselves to be harmed.
These aggressive boys learn that their self-esteem or self-image should be based on their strength, power, and physical superiority over others. They do not learn that a positive image includes competence, good performance in school, and good relations with family and peers. Parents who use coercive parenting instill fear very early in their children. They often do this by using techniques that create an inequality of power such as physical punishment, yelling, and name-calling.
Disciplinary practices vary widely from family to family. Whatever the style, if the parent is not consistent, the child suffers. For example, if a parent overlooks misbehavior one day yet severely punishes the child the next day for the same behavior, the child does not learn right from wrong. Mixed messages from the parents where one says one thing and the other says something different also can confuse a child. Familial behaviors have the potential to strengthen or weaken a school-aged child's ability to relate to peers and behave appropriately.
*Take a look at your family. Is consistent discipline practiced in your home? Who sets the rules in your home? Do your children have a clear understanding of the rules? Do all of the caretakers (i.e. spouses, grandparents) know the rules?
Compared with past generations, new mothers today often do not have the social supports of family and community that help provide positive models of child rearing and discipline. They often feel overwhelmed, isolated, and unprepared. When a mother is unable to care for her child early in the child's life, that child does not bond securely with the mother. This often leads to deficiencies that may show up in the child as a lack of empathy, trust, and reciprocity of feelings. Parents also may have problems such as alcoholism or drug abuse and mental illness.
Socioeconomic factors can serve as risk factors for children and youth. Many families need to work more than one job to make ends meet. Often, kids are left for long periods of time after school with little or no adult supervision. The impact can range from a parent being unable to provide homework help to a lack of recreational and cultural opportunities in a violent neighborhood. Limited social and economic resources also contribute to parental stress, child abuse, and family breakups.
Reference:
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
"Bullying" Is your child at risk? Part 1 of 3
Risk and Protective Factors
Children do not live in a vacuum. Their behavior may result from the interaction of multiple factors, some specific to the individual and others that are situational, familial, or societal.
The presence of "risk factors" puts an individual at higher risk of aggressive behavior, such as bullying. Conversely, the presence of "protective factors" may ward off bullying behaviors. Examples of protective factors include parent supervision and participation at school, peaceful conflict resolution in the home, and parental discouragement of aggression. Decreasing risk while increasing protective factors is the goal of bullying prevention.
Risk factors usually do not exist independently. That is, several risk factors may be present in one child. One study found that a 10-year-old exposed to six or more risk factors is 10 times more likely to be violent by age 18 as a 10-year-old exposed to only one factor.
Risk Factor Timing
The timing of the occurrence of risk factors also determines whether a child has an increased risk of violence. Effective prevention programs must not only consider the range of risk factors present (in the individual as well as the environment), but that in the developmental process, these factors are more likely to be significant.
The fact that risk factors are present does not mean that a child is predetermined to commit bullying and other aggressive acts. No single risk factor or combination of factors can predict with certainty that violence will occur, nor does the presence of protective factors ensure that violence will not occur. Recognizing risk and protective factors serve the purpose of predicting the likelihood of bullying and violence and identifying points of prevention at the individual and community levels.
**It is interesting to note, however, that when third-grade students were asked to identify classmates who were bullies, 25 percent of the 8- and 9-year-olds they identified as bullies had a criminal record by the age of 30.
Individual factors affecting bullying and aggression include:
•Behavioral characteristics
•Biological influences, such as the chemical makeup of the brain or developmental problems
A child's personality and interpersonal behaviors often play a role in determining the likelihood that he or she will become a bully or a bullying victim. Examples of personality traits include shyness, outgoingness, contentedness, irritability, patience, resourcefulness, and determination.
**Children who are more impulsive and active, with dominant personalities, may be more inclined to bully. Children who are anxious, insecure, cautious, socially isolated, or who lack social skills may be more inclined to be victims.
A child's temperament, or the way he or she interacts with others, can be affected by his or her physical characteristics, such as height or weight, attractiveness, health problems, or the presence of a physical, emotional, or other kind of disability. Individual risk factors may include HIV, fetal alcohol syndrome, or retardation. Although the presence of any one of these risk factors does not mean a child will be overly aggressive or become a victim, each plays a role in how the child interacts with those around him or her.
Many children and youth who behave violently may have a long history of emotional and behavioral problems. Although it is important to avoid stereotyping or labeling of individuals with certain personality traits, it is nonetheless worth noting that experts have identified certain behavioral patterns that may be warning signs.
Reference:
Children do not live in a vacuum. Their behavior may result from the interaction of multiple factors, some specific to the individual and others that are situational, familial, or societal.
The presence of "risk factors" puts an individual at higher risk of aggressive behavior, such as bullying. Conversely, the presence of "protective factors" may ward off bullying behaviors. Examples of protective factors include parent supervision and participation at school, peaceful conflict resolution in the home, and parental discouragement of aggression. Decreasing risk while increasing protective factors is the goal of bullying prevention.
Risk factors usually do not exist independently. That is, several risk factors may be present in one child. One study found that a 10-year-old exposed to six or more risk factors is 10 times more likely to be violent by age 18 as a 10-year-old exposed to only one factor.
Risk Factor Timing
The timing of the occurrence of risk factors also determines whether a child has an increased risk of violence. Effective prevention programs must not only consider the range of risk factors present (in the individual as well as the environment), but that in the developmental process, these factors are more likely to be significant.
The fact that risk factors are present does not mean that a child is predetermined to commit bullying and other aggressive acts. No single risk factor or combination of factors can predict with certainty that violence will occur, nor does the presence of protective factors ensure that violence will not occur. Recognizing risk and protective factors serve the purpose of predicting the likelihood of bullying and violence and identifying points of prevention at the individual and community levels.
**It is interesting to note, however, that when third-grade students were asked to identify classmates who were bullies, 25 percent of the 8- and 9-year-olds they identified as bullies had a criminal record by the age of 30.
Individual factors affecting bullying and aggression include:
•Behavioral characteristics
•Biological influences, such as the chemical makeup of the brain or developmental problems
A child's personality and interpersonal behaviors often play a role in determining the likelihood that he or she will become a bully or a bullying victim. Examples of personality traits include shyness, outgoingness, contentedness, irritability, patience, resourcefulness, and determination.
**Children who are more impulsive and active, with dominant personalities, may be more inclined to bully. Children who are anxious, insecure, cautious, socially isolated, or who lack social skills may be more inclined to be victims.
A child's temperament, or the way he or she interacts with others, can be affected by his or her physical characteristics, such as height or weight, attractiveness, health problems, or the presence of a physical, emotional, or other kind of disability. Individual risk factors may include HIV, fetal alcohol syndrome, or retardation. Although the presence of any one of these risk factors does not mean a child will be overly aggressive or become a victim, each plays a role in how the child interacts with those around him or her.
Many children and youth who behave violently may have a long history of emotional and behavioral problems. Although it is important to avoid stereotyping or labeling of individuals with certain personality traits, it is nonetheless worth noting that experts have identified certain behavioral patterns that may be warning signs.
Reference:
Thursday, June 16, 2011
More on temperament. Does temperament = personality?
The New York Longitudinal Study (NYLS) identifies three categories of temperament in infants. These are defined as easy, difficult, and slow to warm up. A forth category is noted as hard to classify. Children, who are classified as easy, laugh when confronted with a quick moving object. Those who cry when confronted with the same object are classified as difficult and those who are quiet are considered slow to warm up.
Children who are classified as easy will generally respond to the world around him in an easy manner. Their mood is positive and is mildly to moderately intense. These children tend to deal with frustration with little anxiety. According to the NYLS study about 40 percent of children fall into this category.
A slow-to-warm-up child tends to mildly intense and negative. They are slow to adapt to unfamiliar surroundings and people. These children tend to be shy around new people and situations. These children become more accepting of new people and situations once they become more familiar with them. About 15 percent fall into this catagory.
The difficult child tends to react negatively and intensely. They may have more temper tantrums and are more difficult to please, stubborn, and he may have a difficult time adapting to new situations Children that have difficult temperaments usually have more behavioral problems and cause more strain on their family. About 10 percent fall into this catagory.
Many researchers believe that there are five core personality traits in adults known as the "big five". These five categories are agreeableness, extraversion, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openness. A person with agreeable traits tends to be kind to others and show trust and affection. Those categorized as extraverts are talkative, social, assertive, and emotionally expressive. Conscientious people are detail oriented, thoughtful, and exhibit good impulse control. People who present as anxious, irritable, and moody are classified as having neurotic personality traits. Openness refers to traits such as insight and imagination.
A child with a difficult temperament does not necessarily mean that he or she will grow to have a neurotic personality when they become adults. While raising children consider “goodness of fit” which refers to how parents and other caregivers interact with a child’s temperament. Parents should attempt to recognize temperament to assist and guide the child in constructive ways. Children who are difficult should not be treated harshly but redirected to more constructive activities. Harsh treatment can create a child who is destructive and antisocial.
Recognizing a child’s temperament is important for parents, caregivers and teachers. Goodness of fit allows for smooth interaction with the child and may help prevent long term behavioral problems. Learning to work with the child’s temperament allows for teaching the child to cope with situations differently than what may be prescribed by their genetic predisposition. Parents should attempt to recognize temperament to assist and guide the child in constructive ways that may alter their eventual personality in a positive way.
Children who are classified as easy will generally respond to the world around him in an easy manner. Their mood is positive and is mildly to moderately intense. These children tend to deal with frustration with little anxiety. According to the NYLS study about 40 percent of children fall into this category.
A slow-to-warm-up child tends to mildly intense and negative. They are slow to adapt to unfamiliar surroundings and people. These children tend to be shy around new people and situations. These children become more accepting of new people and situations once they become more familiar with them. About 15 percent fall into this catagory.
The difficult child tends to react negatively and intensely. They may have more temper tantrums and are more difficult to please, stubborn, and he may have a difficult time adapting to new situations Children that have difficult temperaments usually have more behavioral problems and cause more strain on their family. About 10 percent fall into this catagory.
Many researchers believe that there are five core personality traits in adults known as the "big five". These five categories are agreeableness, extraversion, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openness. A person with agreeable traits tends to be kind to others and show trust and affection. Those categorized as extraverts are talkative, social, assertive, and emotionally expressive. Conscientious people are detail oriented, thoughtful, and exhibit good impulse control. People who present as anxious, irritable, and moody are classified as having neurotic personality traits. Openness refers to traits such as insight and imagination.
A child with a difficult temperament does not necessarily mean that he or she will grow to have a neurotic personality when they become adults. While raising children consider “goodness of fit” which refers to how parents and other caregivers interact with a child’s temperament. Parents should attempt to recognize temperament to assist and guide the child in constructive ways. Children who are difficult should not be treated harshly but redirected to more constructive activities. Harsh treatment can create a child who is destructive and antisocial.
Recognizing a child’s temperament is important for parents, caregivers and teachers. Goodness of fit allows for smooth interaction with the child and may help prevent long term behavioral problems. Learning to work with the child’s temperament allows for teaching the child to cope with situations differently than what may be prescribed by their genetic predisposition. Parents should attempt to recognize temperament to assist and guide the child in constructive ways that may alter their eventual personality in a positive way.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Do you know your child's temperament?
Temperament is defined as "constitutionally based individual differences" in emotions, activity, and self-regulation (Rothbart & Bates, 2006). "Constitutionally based" refers to traits that are genetically inherited. In other words, your child is genetically predisposed to a certain temperament.
Is temperament the same as personality? No, although some researchers believe that there is a fine line between the two. Personality is generally learned (honesty) whereas temperament (aggressiveness, shyness) is inherited.
Can you as the parent change your child’s temperament? Most research says that temperament cannot be changed but that child-rearing practices can modify the way a child expresses himself.
Harsh parenting combined with a negative temperament can create antisocial, destructive children (Caspi, 2002). Some children naturally cope more easily whereas a shy child must control fear to approach a stranger, and an impulsive child must constrain her desire and resist temptation (Derryberry et al.,2003).
Help your child modify counterproductive traits by recognizing their temperament. Parents and caregivers should find a goodness of fit, a temperamental adjustment that allows for smooth parent/child interaction. Finding a good fit will help your child learn more productive coping skills and adjust more easily to daily challenges.
Is temperament the same as personality? No, although some researchers believe that there is a fine line between the two. Personality is generally learned (honesty) whereas temperament (aggressiveness, shyness) is inherited.
Can you as the parent change your child’s temperament? Most research says that temperament cannot be changed but that child-rearing practices can modify the way a child expresses himself.
Harsh parenting combined with a negative temperament can create antisocial, destructive children (Caspi, 2002). Some children naturally cope more easily whereas a shy child must control fear to approach a stranger, and an impulsive child must constrain her desire and resist temptation (Derryberry et al.,2003).
Help your child modify counterproductive traits by recognizing their temperament. Parents and caregivers should find a goodness of fit, a temperamental adjustment that allows for smooth parent/child interaction. Finding a good fit will help your child learn more productive coping skills and adjust more easily to daily challenges.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Tips for keeping your tot in bed.
1. Why does your child want to sleep with you? – Your children might feel like they are missing out on something special and want to be involved. Some might be afraid of the dark or could be suffering from separation anxiety. Find the cause and you are on your way to solving the problem.
2. Create a transitional object - Young children tend to internalize their comfortable feelings toward their parents by transferring it to an inanimate object. Blankets, teddy bears and other objects help young toddlers feel secure during the night and in their own bedroom.
3. Help your toddler create an imaginary friend - Imaginary friends provide a sense of comfort and security. Act like you're tucking your toddler's imaginary friend in at night and pretend it's a real person. If your toddler gets scared during the night, they can look to their "friend" so they won't feel so alone.
4. Have a set and consistent bedtime - Children need boundaries and schedules. Allowing your young child to go to bed at 10 P.M. one night and then 8 P.M. the next night only confuses them and it doesn't offer the strict scheduling they need. Make sure you put them to bed around the same time every night unless there is a special occasion that prevents that from happening.
5. Use positive reinforcement - Toddlers love small rewards. If you have a problem keeping your toddler in bed all night, make a chart for them and give them a sticker for each night they sleep in their bedroom throughout the night. If an entire night is too much to do right away, give a sticker for every hour they stay in their bedroom. After a few nights, give them a bigger reward like a toy or something they enjoy.
6. Gradually increase away time - You might hear your toddler crying because they want to sleep with mommy and daddy. But giving in to their cries will only make the problem worse. Instead, go in their bedroom every two minutes to calm them down. If they keep it up, go in at five-minute intervals. Gradually increase the time until they stop crying and they have gone to sleep.
7. Don't reinforce their behavior - Many times when a toddler crawls into bed with their parents, they are looking for attention. By talking to them, you give them the attention they want. Instead of scolding your toddler, carry them back to their bed, tuck them back in and leave the room. Do this as many times as necessary until the child learns to stay in their bedroom.
8. Spray the scary stuff away – Children have vivid imaginations. The clicking noise that the ceiling fan makes can become a “monster” to a child. My wife uses a method that works well in some instances. “Scary Spray” (pillow mist) makes the monsters go away. Use your own imagination when it comes to ridding your child’s room of creepy things.
9. Get a bed with boundaries - One reason toddlers crawl out of bed is because they don't have any visible boundaries to remind them to stay in bed. As a result, they follow their impulses and leave their bed anytime they want. A bed with rails or something similar and age-appropriate can help teach your toddler to stay in their beds. Older children might benefit from the use of a baby gate strategically placed at your or their bedroom door. Be careful that these types of barriers do not impede in the case of fire or other emergency.
There are times when adults need to be alone and have adult time. When children are invited and have become the focus of family life, marriages can become negatively affected.
Over-parenting?
Parents may have difficulty allowing the child to separate from them. Parents sometimes fail to recognize that children need to develop a sense of autonomy. Psychoanalytic theory suggests that if children do not achieve autonomy (self-rule) they may feel ashamed of their actions and doubtful of their abilities.
Parents may or may not have a problem with their child co-sleeping. Keep in mind that some cultures have practiced co-sleeping for centuries. While common Western culture promotes autonomy and independence other cultures feel that co-sleeping creates a strong bond between parent and child.
Something to consider.
Sometimes parents are overly anxious about their baby or child. Have you ever been away from your baby? Do you worry about your baby all the time when you are away? Do you have trouble not going to your baby at night every time they stir or make a peep? You might have separation issues of your own. Some parents have lots of trouble separating from their baby. This is something you need to work on if you want your baby to be able to sleep through the night. Your difficulty with separation can cause problems for your child down the road in many areas (University of Michigan Health System).
References:
Savvy daddy, http://www.savvydaddy.com/content/site/survival-guide/00189/how-get-your-toddler-sleep-their-own-bed.
Tricounty Life Coaching and Family Intervention, http://tlctricountylifecoaching.blogspot.com/
University of Michigan Health Systems, http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/sleep.htm
2. Create a transitional object - Young children tend to internalize their comfortable feelings toward their parents by transferring it to an inanimate object. Blankets, teddy bears and other objects help young toddlers feel secure during the night and in their own bedroom.
3. Help your toddler create an imaginary friend - Imaginary friends provide a sense of comfort and security. Act like you're tucking your toddler's imaginary friend in at night and pretend it's a real person. If your toddler gets scared during the night, they can look to their "friend" so they won't feel so alone.
4. Have a set and consistent bedtime - Children need boundaries and schedules. Allowing your young child to go to bed at 10 P.M. one night and then 8 P.M. the next night only confuses them and it doesn't offer the strict scheduling they need. Make sure you put them to bed around the same time every night unless there is a special occasion that prevents that from happening.
5. Use positive reinforcement - Toddlers love small rewards. If you have a problem keeping your toddler in bed all night, make a chart for them and give them a sticker for each night they sleep in their bedroom throughout the night. If an entire night is too much to do right away, give a sticker for every hour they stay in their bedroom. After a few nights, give them a bigger reward like a toy or something they enjoy.
6. Gradually increase away time - You might hear your toddler crying because they want to sleep with mommy and daddy. But giving in to their cries will only make the problem worse. Instead, go in their bedroom every two minutes to calm them down. If they keep it up, go in at five-minute intervals. Gradually increase the time until they stop crying and they have gone to sleep.
7. Don't reinforce their behavior - Many times when a toddler crawls into bed with their parents, they are looking for attention. By talking to them, you give them the attention they want. Instead of scolding your toddler, carry them back to their bed, tuck them back in and leave the room. Do this as many times as necessary until the child learns to stay in their bedroom.
8. Spray the scary stuff away – Children have vivid imaginations. The clicking noise that the ceiling fan makes can become a “monster” to a child. My wife uses a method that works well in some instances. “Scary Spray” (pillow mist) makes the monsters go away. Use your own imagination when it comes to ridding your child’s room of creepy things.
9. Get a bed with boundaries - One reason toddlers crawl out of bed is because they don't have any visible boundaries to remind them to stay in bed. As a result, they follow their impulses and leave their bed anytime they want. A bed with rails or something similar and age-appropriate can help teach your toddler to stay in their beds. Older children might benefit from the use of a baby gate strategically placed at your or their bedroom door. Be careful that these types of barriers do not impede in the case of fire or other emergency.
There are times when adults need to be alone and have adult time. When children are invited and have become the focus of family life, marriages can become negatively affected.
Over-parenting?
Parents may have difficulty allowing the child to separate from them. Parents sometimes fail to recognize that children need to develop a sense of autonomy. Psychoanalytic theory suggests that if children do not achieve autonomy (self-rule) they may feel ashamed of their actions and doubtful of their abilities.
Parents may or may not have a problem with their child co-sleeping. Keep in mind that some cultures have practiced co-sleeping for centuries. While common Western culture promotes autonomy and independence other cultures feel that co-sleeping creates a strong bond between parent and child.
Something to consider.
Sometimes parents are overly anxious about their baby or child. Have you ever been away from your baby? Do you worry about your baby all the time when you are away? Do you have trouble not going to your baby at night every time they stir or make a peep? You might have separation issues of your own. Some parents have lots of trouble separating from their baby. This is something you need to work on if you want your baby to be able to sleep through the night. Your difficulty with separation can cause problems for your child down the road in many areas (University of Michigan Health System).
References:
Savvy daddy, http://www.savvydaddy.com/content/site/survival-guide/00189/how-get-your-toddler-sleep-their-own-bed.
Tricounty Life Coaching and Family Intervention, http://tlctricountylifecoaching.blogspot.com/
University of Michigan Health Systems, http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/sleep.htm
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