Most of us know the answers to our problems but we just can’t see past the trees. Sometimes when we concentrate on the minute details of a problem, you lose sight of the overall picture; in other words you focus on the unimportant, rather than on the important things. You lose site of the big picture; as the old saying goes, “you can't see the forest for the trees.”
The answers to most of our problems are in the forest; the big picture, but we can’t or don’t slow down enough to see through the trees; the minute details. Think of this way; we get frustrated and stressed because our house is a mess. We come home to find the floor covered in toys and clothes strewn about. In our rush to get things done we begin barking orders; pick up those toys and put those dirty clothes away! Like a bad cold, our frustration and stress has now spread throughout the house. Your family has now stormed off to their bedrooms while you look around wondering how things have gotten so out of control. Could it be that we have lost sight of the big picture and have found ourselves focusing on the minute details
How much is too much?
Have you ever looked in your child’s room and are unable to see the floor because it is completely covered by toys? You tell your child to put his things away only to come back to find the problem worse. Children don’t see the big picture, only the doll or truck that they are playing with at that moment. We on the other hand see a mess! The question here is “who owns the problem” or rather, who created the problem?
Too many trees! I can’t see the forest!
Many of us are guilty of overindulgence. Our children have lots of toys but we buy more. Holidays and birthdays come and go, and the toys continue to grow but we never throw any of them out. Stop doing what doesn’t work! Keep in mind that what parents see as a “mess” can be a daunting and overwhelming task for a 4 year old. Don’t expect that the “mess” that took your child two hours to create will be properly cleaned up and put away in ten minutes. Our children are so overstimulated by the volume of stuff that we help them accumulate that they lose the ability to concentrate and focus. Provide your child with a manageable number of toys; not manageable by you, but by your child!
The toys are a minute detail of a bigger problem. The problem is stress. Many of us have a propensity for overburdening ourselves; in other words we create our own mess by our attempts to please others. We can’t say no! We find ourselves involved in the PTA, church committees, and the neighborhood association. On top of all that we have to get our kids to soccer, dance, and cheerleading practice. With all of this going on plus your 50 hour a week job, you find yourself too worn out to manage your home.
Ways to help alleviate stress and better manage your home.
• Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them, refuse to accept added responsibilities. Taking on more than you can handle is a recipe for stress.
• Take control of your environment – If the old clothes and that mountain of toys causes you stress, get rid of them; minimize the stuff, minimize the stress.
• Avoid people who stress you out – If someone causes stress limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.
• Manage your to-do list – Take a hard look your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got too much on your plate, drop tasks that aren’t necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.
For more on stress management please visit:
http://helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm
