The New York Longitudinal Study (NYLS) identifies three categories of temperament in infants. These are defined as easy, difficult, and slow to warm up. A forth category is noted as hard to classify. Children, who are classified as easy, laugh when confronted with a quick moving object. Those who cry when confronted with the same object are classified as difficult and those who are quiet are considered slow to warm up.
Children who are classified as easy will generally respond to the world around him in an easy manner. Their mood is positive and is mildly to moderately intense. These children tend to deal with frustration with little anxiety. According to the NYLS study about 40 percent of children fall into this category.
A slow-to-warm-up child tends to mildly intense and negative. They are slow to adapt to unfamiliar surroundings and people. These children tend to be shy around new people and situations. These children become more accepting of new people and situations once they become more familiar with them. About 15 percent fall into this catagory.
The difficult child tends to react negatively and intensely. They may have more temper tantrums and are more difficult to please, stubborn, and he may have a difficult time adapting to new situations Children that have difficult temperaments usually have more behavioral problems and cause more strain on their family. About 10 percent fall into this catagory.
Many researchers believe that there are five core personality traits in adults known as the "big five". These five categories are agreeableness, extraversion, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openness. A person with agreeable traits tends to be kind to others and show trust and affection. Those categorized as extraverts are talkative, social, assertive, and emotionally expressive. Conscientious people are detail oriented, thoughtful, and exhibit good impulse control. People who present as anxious, irritable, and moody are classified as having neurotic personality traits. Openness refers to traits such as insight and imagination.
A child with a difficult temperament does not necessarily mean that he or she will grow to have a neurotic personality when they become adults. While raising children consider “goodness of fit” which refers to how parents and other caregivers interact with a child’s temperament. Parents should attempt to recognize temperament to assist and guide the child in constructive ways. Children who are difficult should not be treated harshly but redirected to more constructive activities. Harsh treatment can create a child who is destructive and antisocial.
Recognizing a child’s temperament is important for parents, caregivers and teachers. Goodness of fit allows for smooth interaction with the child and may help prevent long term behavioral problems. Learning to work with the child’s temperament allows for teaching the child to cope with situations differently than what may be prescribed by their genetic predisposition. Parents should attempt to recognize temperament to assist and guide the child in constructive ways that may alter their eventual personality in a positive way.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Do you know your child's temperament?
Temperament is defined as "constitutionally based individual differences" in emotions, activity, and self-regulation (Rothbart & Bates, 2006). "Constitutionally based" refers to traits that are genetically inherited. In other words, your child is genetically predisposed to a certain temperament.
Is temperament the same as personality? No, although some researchers believe that there is a fine line between the two. Personality is generally learned (honesty) whereas temperament (aggressiveness, shyness) is inherited.
Can you as the parent change your child’s temperament? Most research says that temperament cannot be changed but that child-rearing practices can modify the way a child expresses himself.
Harsh parenting combined with a negative temperament can create antisocial, destructive children (Caspi, 2002). Some children naturally cope more easily whereas a shy child must control fear to approach a stranger, and an impulsive child must constrain her desire and resist temptation (Derryberry et al.,2003).
Help your child modify counterproductive traits by recognizing their temperament. Parents and caregivers should find a goodness of fit, a temperamental adjustment that allows for smooth parent/child interaction. Finding a good fit will help your child learn more productive coping skills and adjust more easily to daily challenges.
Is temperament the same as personality? No, although some researchers believe that there is a fine line between the two. Personality is generally learned (honesty) whereas temperament (aggressiveness, shyness) is inherited.
Can you as the parent change your child’s temperament? Most research says that temperament cannot be changed but that child-rearing practices can modify the way a child expresses himself.
Harsh parenting combined with a negative temperament can create antisocial, destructive children (Caspi, 2002). Some children naturally cope more easily whereas a shy child must control fear to approach a stranger, and an impulsive child must constrain her desire and resist temptation (Derryberry et al.,2003).
Help your child modify counterproductive traits by recognizing their temperament. Parents and caregivers should find a goodness of fit, a temperamental adjustment that allows for smooth parent/child interaction. Finding a good fit will help your child learn more productive coping skills and adjust more easily to daily challenges.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Tips for keeping your tot in bed.
1. Why does your child want to sleep with you? – Your children might feel like they are missing out on something special and want to be involved. Some might be afraid of the dark or could be suffering from separation anxiety. Find the cause and you are on your way to solving the problem.
2. Create a transitional object - Young children tend to internalize their comfortable feelings toward their parents by transferring it to an inanimate object. Blankets, teddy bears and other objects help young toddlers feel secure during the night and in their own bedroom.
3. Help your toddler create an imaginary friend - Imaginary friends provide a sense of comfort and security. Act like you're tucking your toddler's imaginary friend in at night and pretend it's a real person. If your toddler gets scared during the night, they can look to their "friend" so they won't feel so alone.
4. Have a set and consistent bedtime - Children need boundaries and schedules. Allowing your young child to go to bed at 10 P.M. one night and then 8 P.M. the next night only confuses them and it doesn't offer the strict scheduling they need. Make sure you put them to bed around the same time every night unless there is a special occasion that prevents that from happening.
5. Use positive reinforcement - Toddlers love small rewards. If you have a problem keeping your toddler in bed all night, make a chart for them and give them a sticker for each night they sleep in their bedroom throughout the night. If an entire night is too much to do right away, give a sticker for every hour they stay in their bedroom. After a few nights, give them a bigger reward like a toy or something they enjoy.
6. Gradually increase away time - You might hear your toddler crying because they want to sleep with mommy and daddy. But giving in to their cries will only make the problem worse. Instead, go in their bedroom every two minutes to calm them down. If they keep it up, go in at five-minute intervals. Gradually increase the time until they stop crying and they have gone to sleep.
7. Don't reinforce their behavior - Many times when a toddler crawls into bed with their parents, they are looking for attention. By talking to them, you give them the attention they want. Instead of scolding your toddler, carry them back to their bed, tuck them back in and leave the room. Do this as many times as necessary until the child learns to stay in their bedroom.
8. Spray the scary stuff away – Children have vivid imaginations. The clicking noise that the ceiling fan makes can become a “monster” to a child. My wife uses a method that works well in some instances. “Scary Spray” (pillow mist) makes the monsters go away. Use your own imagination when it comes to ridding your child’s room of creepy things.
9. Get a bed with boundaries - One reason toddlers crawl out of bed is because they don't have any visible boundaries to remind them to stay in bed. As a result, they follow their impulses and leave their bed anytime they want. A bed with rails or something similar and age-appropriate can help teach your toddler to stay in their beds. Older children might benefit from the use of a baby gate strategically placed at your or their bedroom door. Be careful that these types of barriers do not impede in the case of fire or other emergency.
There are times when adults need to be alone and have adult time. When children are invited and have become the focus of family life, marriages can become negatively affected.
Over-parenting?
Parents may have difficulty allowing the child to separate from them. Parents sometimes fail to recognize that children need to develop a sense of autonomy. Psychoanalytic theory suggests that if children do not achieve autonomy (self-rule) they may feel ashamed of their actions and doubtful of their abilities.
Parents may or may not have a problem with their child co-sleeping. Keep in mind that some cultures have practiced co-sleeping for centuries. While common Western culture promotes autonomy and independence other cultures feel that co-sleeping creates a strong bond between parent and child.
Something to consider.
Sometimes parents are overly anxious about their baby or child. Have you ever been away from your baby? Do you worry about your baby all the time when you are away? Do you have trouble not going to your baby at night every time they stir or make a peep? You might have separation issues of your own. Some parents have lots of trouble separating from their baby. This is something you need to work on if you want your baby to be able to sleep through the night. Your difficulty with separation can cause problems for your child down the road in many areas (University of Michigan Health System).
References:
Savvy daddy, http://www.savvydaddy.com/content/site/survival-guide/00189/how-get-your-toddler-sleep-their-own-bed.
Tricounty Life Coaching and Family Intervention, http://tlctricountylifecoaching.blogspot.com/
University of Michigan Health Systems, http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/sleep.htm
2. Create a transitional object - Young children tend to internalize their comfortable feelings toward their parents by transferring it to an inanimate object. Blankets, teddy bears and other objects help young toddlers feel secure during the night and in their own bedroom.
3. Help your toddler create an imaginary friend - Imaginary friends provide a sense of comfort and security. Act like you're tucking your toddler's imaginary friend in at night and pretend it's a real person. If your toddler gets scared during the night, they can look to their "friend" so they won't feel so alone.
4. Have a set and consistent bedtime - Children need boundaries and schedules. Allowing your young child to go to bed at 10 P.M. one night and then 8 P.M. the next night only confuses them and it doesn't offer the strict scheduling they need. Make sure you put them to bed around the same time every night unless there is a special occasion that prevents that from happening.
5. Use positive reinforcement - Toddlers love small rewards. If you have a problem keeping your toddler in bed all night, make a chart for them and give them a sticker for each night they sleep in their bedroom throughout the night. If an entire night is too much to do right away, give a sticker for every hour they stay in their bedroom. After a few nights, give them a bigger reward like a toy or something they enjoy.
6. Gradually increase away time - You might hear your toddler crying because they want to sleep with mommy and daddy. But giving in to their cries will only make the problem worse. Instead, go in their bedroom every two minutes to calm them down. If they keep it up, go in at five-minute intervals. Gradually increase the time until they stop crying and they have gone to sleep.
7. Don't reinforce their behavior - Many times when a toddler crawls into bed with their parents, they are looking for attention. By talking to them, you give them the attention they want. Instead of scolding your toddler, carry them back to their bed, tuck them back in and leave the room. Do this as many times as necessary until the child learns to stay in their bedroom.
8. Spray the scary stuff away – Children have vivid imaginations. The clicking noise that the ceiling fan makes can become a “monster” to a child. My wife uses a method that works well in some instances. “Scary Spray” (pillow mist) makes the monsters go away. Use your own imagination when it comes to ridding your child’s room of creepy things.
9. Get a bed with boundaries - One reason toddlers crawl out of bed is because they don't have any visible boundaries to remind them to stay in bed. As a result, they follow their impulses and leave their bed anytime they want. A bed with rails or something similar and age-appropriate can help teach your toddler to stay in their beds. Older children might benefit from the use of a baby gate strategically placed at your or their bedroom door. Be careful that these types of barriers do not impede in the case of fire or other emergency.
There are times when adults need to be alone and have adult time. When children are invited and have become the focus of family life, marriages can become negatively affected.
Over-parenting?
Parents may have difficulty allowing the child to separate from them. Parents sometimes fail to recognize that children need to develop a sense of autonomy. Psychoanalytic theory suggests that if children do not achieve autonomy (self-rule) they may feel ashamed of their actions and doubtful of their abilities.
Parents may or may not have a problem with their child co-sleeping. Keep in mind that some cultures have practiced co-sleeping for centuries. While common Western culture promotes autonomy and independence other cultures feel that co-sleeping creates a strong bond between parent and child.
Something to consider.
Sometimes parents are overly anxious about their baby or child. Have you ever been away from your baby? Do you worry about your baby all the time when you are away? Do you have trouble not going to your baby at night every time they stir or make a peep? You might have separation issues of your own. Some parents have lots of trouble separating from their baby. This is something you need to work on if you want your baby to be able to sleep through the night. Your difficulty with separation can cause problems for your child down the road in many areas (University of Michigan Health System).
References:
Savvy daddy, http://www.savvydaddy.com/content/site/survival-guide/00189/how-get-your-toddler-sleep-their-own-bed.
Tricounty Life Coaching and Family Intervention, http://tlctricountylifecoaching.blogspot.com/
University of Michigan Health Systems, http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/sleep.htm
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