Today our local (Charleston, SC) morning news was ablaze with stories about yesterday’s events on the Ravenel Bridge. The commentaries regarding the event and ensuing traffic malfunctions ran the gamut from sympathy to anger.
Yesterday afternoon I received a call from my son who explained that he was stuck on the bridge and that it appeared that”someone was trying to blow himself up”. As any parent would, my immediate thoughts where for the safety of my son. As time passed it became clear that this person (probably) did not intend to hurt anyone else. This was (and is) a person in a great deal of emotional pain.
Consider that most of us, at some point in our lives, have endured great emotional pain without resorting to suicidal ideation. The thought may have crossed your mind but you where able to work though the problems. Perhaps talking to a family member or trusted friend helped you get through a though time. Maybe you sought professional help. What if, during a stressful time in your life, you felt like you had no one to turn too?
Events such as those that occurred yesterday are avoidable.
As the events of the afternoon continued to unfold I was thankful that the person in that car was not my son, my daughter, my wife, a family member, or a friend. I learned though social media that he is however, a friend of a friend. He is a member of our community.
My hope is that all of you, when faced with difficulties, will seek help. If you know someone who appears to be in crisis, do whatever you can to help them. Perhaps you might think it’s not your place to get involved, but consider that you might be saving someone’s life, or at the very least, a major traffic malfunction.
If you or someone you know is in crisis call 911 or National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
For a list of helping agencies visit:
http://www.tricountylifecoaching.com/ "helpful links"
Friday, February 3, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Childhood mental disorders: What’s wrong or what’s not quite right?
I’ll start by telling you that this is in no way meant to be anything other than commentary fueled by observation and a lot of research. While it’s true that much of the research I’ve done is evidence based, some is reading about trials and tribulations of parents of children who struggle with some type of mental disorder.
When it comes to physical illness, we parents seem to have an uncanny ability to sense that something is wrong with our child. When our child appears ill we make a quick assessment, and if we deem it necessary we make a call to the family physician. Little John (or Jane) has the flu, mystery solved! Your child is likely to make a full recovery in three to five days. In the mean time all of the well-wishers and offers of help from family and friends flood your house. We breathe a sigh of relief knowing that our child will be just fine and relish in knowing that so many care.
Parents also know when something is not “quite right” with our children. We can’t put our finger on it but we know that all is not well. Perhaps we notice John (or Jane) can’t seem to sit still for two seconds or that the tantrums are severe and come with no warning or trigger.
Childhood mental disorders come in all shapes and sizes. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to make lite of this subject. Take a minute or two and research it for yourself, do a web search and you will see what I’m talking about. The disorders run the gamut, from ADAD to schizophrenia and beyond.
What is it that is not”quite right” with our child? Unlike a case of the flu, mental illness is not as easily diagnosed nor treated. A quick check for fever and a round of antibiotics will not do the trick. You (probably) will not broadcast over social media that your child has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and even if you do, don’t expect the well-wishers to bring over a casserole. For some reason folks seem to think that mental illness is contagious. Go figure?
In next week’s post I’ll be talking about “what to expect” when you take your child to the physician. Until then remember that pizza delivery is just a phone call away, things will work out, and love your child for who they are.
When it comes to physical illness, we parents seem to have an uncanny ability to sense that something is wrong with our child. When our child appears ill we make a quick assessment, and if we deem it necessary we make a call to the family physician. Little John (or Jane) has the flu, mystery solved! Your child is likely to make a full recovery in three to five days. In the mean time all of the well-wishers and offers of help from family and friends flood your house. We breathe a sigh of relief knowing that our child will be just fine and relish in knowing that so many care.
Parents also know when something is not “quite right” with our children. We can’t put our finger on it but we know that all is not well. Perhaps we notice John (or Jane) can’t seem to sit still for two seconds or that the tantrums are severe and come with no warning or trigger.
Childhood mental disorders come in all shapes and sizes. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to make lite of this subject. Take a minute or two and research it for yourself, do a web search and you will see what I’m talking about. The disorders run the gamut, from ADAD to schizophrenia and beyond.
What is it that is not”quite right” with our child? Unlike a case of the flu, mental illness is not as easily diagnosed nor treated. A quick check for fever and a round of antibiotics will not do the trick. You (probably) will not broadcast over social media that your child has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and even if you do, don’t expect the well-wishers to bring over a casserole. For some reason folks seem to think that mental illness is contagious. Go figure?
In next week’s post I’ll be talking about “what to expect” when you take your child to the physician. Until then remember that pizza delivery is just a phone call away, things will work out, and love your child for who they are.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Love? Lust? (or) I Really Don’t Care!
Love? Lust? (or) I Really Don’t Care!
Relationships can be tough business. Whether you are in a current relationship or thinking about getting involved with someone you might find it helpful to ask yourself a few questions about the ONE!
You would like him/her to love you for your:
• Looks/body?
• Mind-The way you view life?
• You really don’t care because it’s just physical anyway.
If your answer is “it’s just physical” you can stop reading. This is about finding long lasting committed love.
What you should consider when looking for Mr. or Ms. Right?
• Cultural background- they may eat different foods, speak different languages, and have significant differences in cultural values.
• Compatibility/Interests- Let’s be honest, if he’s a couch potato and you are a mountain biker you might want to think twice about a relationship.
• Religion- It might not be a big deal in the beginning but religion can become a sticky problem when children come along.
• Mental health- In sickness and in health...sometimes easier said than done. Marriage is not easy to begin with, add the stressors of mental illness and you might find yourself in divorce court. Planning children? Keep in mind that genetics can be a factor in your child’s mental health as well.
You can’t change another person and you have no right to try to change your partner. Don’t promise to change if your potential partner can’t accept you as you are.
Relationships can be tough business. Whether you are in a current relationship or thinking about getting involved with someone you might find it helpful to ask yourself a few questions about the ONE!
You would like him/her to love you for your:
• Looks/body?
• Mind-The way you view life?
• You really don’t care because it’s just physical anyway.
If your answer is “it’s just physical” you can stop reading. This is about finding long lasting committed love.
What you should consider when looking for Mr. or Ms. Right?
• Cultural background- they may eat different foods, speak different languages, and have significant differences in cultural values.
• Compatibility/Interests- Let’s be honest, if he’s a couch potato and you are a mountain biker you might want to think twice about a relationship.
• Religion- It might not be a big deal in the beginning but religion can become a sticky problem when children come along.
• Mental health- In sickness and in health...sometimes easier said than done. Marriage is not easy to begin with, add the stressors of mental illness and you might find yourself in divorce court. Planning children? Keep in mind that genetics can be a factor in your child’s mental health as well.
“I don't necessarily want a divorce...just some space. Just some space to feel like my own person... someone not weighed down by mental illness 24/7.”
~ http://www.schizophrenia.com/blog20/
The #1 thing to remember when considering a potential partner is…
Acceptance
“Don’t worry mom! He/she won’t do that when we get married”
You can’t change another person and you have no right to try to change your partner. Don’t promise to change if your potential partner can’t accept you as you are.
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